⚠️ WARNING: This site was built using 100% XGH Methodology • No Tests • No Documentation • Deploying on Fridays • It works on my machine • Do not look at the source code •⚠️ WARNING: This site was built using 100% XGH Methodology • No Tests • No Documentation • Deploying on Fridays • It works on my machine • Do not look at the source code •⚠️ WARNING: This site was built using 100% XGH Methodology • No Tests • No Documentation • Deploying on Fridays • It works on my machine • Do not look at the source code •⚠️ WARNING: This site was built using 100% XGH Methodology • No Tests • No Documentation • Deploying on Fridays • It works on my machine • Do not look at the source code •
IPO SOON

Faria Lima
Business School

Master the art of working while they sleep (so you can burnout while they are awake).

(Unpaid, obviously)
Our Core Values (DNA)

Ownership

"Act like an owner, get paid like an intern. If the company profits, we clap. If it fails, you're fired."

Synergy

"The art of saying absolutely nothing using as many buzzwords as possible in a 2-hour meeting."

Resilience

"Sleep is a barrier to productivity. Coffee is a meal. A nervous breakdown is just a pivot."

The Hustle Manifesto

Internalize this ASAP:

  • Feedback is a gift. (Even when it's just your boss screaming).
  • Work hard, play hard. (Work 16h, play beach tennis for 20min).
  • We are a family. (A dysfunctional one that will disown you if numbers drop).
  • It's not a salary, it's equity. (Which is worth $0 right now).
  • The vest is mandatory. Even in 40°C heat. It protects your heart from feelings.
  • "Ping me later" means "I will ignore you until you go away."
  • Lunch is for networking. Never eat alone, or worse, enjoy your food.
  • Excel is your IDE. If it can't be done in a spreadsheet, it doesn't exist.

Corporate Assets

Coffee Chat Template

A generic email template to beg for mentorship from people who are too busy to reply.

The "Nice Deck" PDF

100 slides of graphs that go up and to the right. Content is irrelevant.

Prestigious Labels

"We have badges, so we must be legitimate."

GPTW

Great Place to Weep (in the bathroom)

UNICORN

A mythical creature that loses money but has a high valuation.

TOP VOICE

Certified expert in writing stories about nothing.

996

9am to 9pm, 6 days a week. The Gold Standard.

READY TO PIVOT?

Join the elite circle of people who use the word "Paradigm" unironically.

*Past performance is not indicative of future results (you will likely fail).